Maybe they're not so much as expectations as they are standards. A person trusts me because that person holds me to a certain standard - reliable, competent, and honest. In other words, trustworthy. Like when I trust the doctor to prescribe me the right medicine, or my sweater to keep me warm. When someone trusts me and confides in me, it triggers anxiety and makes me think about past instances in which I provided evidence of reliability, competence, and honesty. It makes me second guess myself. I do believe I am trustworthy. I do.
Maybe it's not so much the standards that scare me. It may be the confiding that I am scared of. The confidential information that person tells me that causes me to worry, dwell, and obsess about the person's well-being.
Today someone trusted me and told me a piece of information that I have been obsessing over ever since. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for receiving his trust, but I am more grateful that he has found the comfort that comes from trusting someone. It really brought to the forefront the things we have in common and opened up the way to more meaningful conversation and connection. But at the same time, it brought on other emotions like fear, sadness, helplessness, guilt, and resentment. They're so strong that I almost wish he hadn't told me - I guess that makes me selfish and cowardly. Almost. However, the strongest emotion was relief because we were finally able to put our guards down and invite us to get to know each other better.
There should be more trust in the world. But that only comes from having more trustworthy people and that's where the problem lies. I feel like people are becoming increasingly manipulative and self-serving - in other words, unethical. How do we create trustworthy people? Let us start with ourselves.
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