Free but not really

I have finally completed my time at treatment.  5 months of it got me where I am today: healthy, assertive, self-loving, a little constipated, and about 20 pounds heavier. My hair and nails grow much more quickly, my heart rate is no longer that of a chihuahua's, and I can eat at restaurants like a semi-normal person.  Of course 5 months haven't reversed all the damage I've done to myself, and I still have issues with food, but for what it's worth, I've made pretty damn good progress.  159 days of abstinence, 159 days of resisting urges, 159 days of clarity.  I am living proof that people can change.
Now that I am out of treatment, I have to begin planning.  Ideally, I would like to travel and couch-surf until my heart's content, but my future will be unstable.  If I get a job and live a structured set of months, I will be secure - financially, at least - but I think I will feel unsatisfied, emotionally.  I want to treat myself.  I want to allow myself to relax and take a mental vacation.  Plans, expectations, and obligations are what brought me to my addictions in the first place.   A break sounds like a good idea, but sometimes I think I'm being naive.  If I live the other way - making decisions based on how they will affect my future - I feel like I will remain stuck and fearful.  I've missed out on so much of life and now, I want to take advantage of and celebrate my new-found health and happiness, but would that be irresponsible/naive/impractical?  Even though I wonder all this, my fear of being unstable in the future will immobilize me, which is why I have already turned in a couple job applications. I'm not unhappy with my decision because I have accepted the sad truth that we need financial stability, but I am a little bitter of having to be stuck with obligations.  On the bright side, I can save up the money I make from my job and work on plan B: take classes at a community college, re-start my child-sponsorships, adopt a dog, and buy a piano.
In treatment, I felt like a newborn who just opened her eyes for the first time, and now, out of treatment, I feel like I've just learned how to walk on my own. I will be with my eating disorder for years to come, and without the help of a treatment facility to go to, I'm ready to test my strength and determination.  I'm excited for what the weeks and months ahead hold for me.